As a retail and restaurant veteran of many years, I am all too familiar with the stifling level of intimidation every-day wine drinkers are under or put themselves under. There are many causes both internal and external to this feeling of intimidation that perhaps deserves discussion elsewhere. However, for now let us focus on immediate solutions. 

If you are at all enthusiastic or at all curious about the multifaceted world of wine around you, then you must try to shrug off feelings of inadequacy or intimidation. Think about it this way, when you raise a glass to your lips and pour a little wine in your mouth, what is between your senses and the wine? Nothing. At that moment you are witnessing a perfect unity that can afford no room for Robert Parker, Wine Spectator, Sommeliers, and your loud neighbor with a larger wine collection than can be drank in a lifetime. Wine is communal, of course, but only via its intimacy. We love to taste and to talk about it because it is one of the few experiences that is, at its core, so intimate that it may be impossible to perfectly describe how something so compelling overwhelms your senses and thoughts.

It is important to remember that you own those experiences and that they are themselves impenetrable kernels. Impenetrable to all but you, that is—for such things are at the mercy of your evolving senses. I’m going to outline some very basic and practical things you can do to launch yourself towards greater wine enthusiasm and freedom, but first and foremost you must remember the Sovereignty of the Senses and always carry that notion with you wherever you go.

The best way to get maximum exposure to a lot of wines in short order is to stay engaged with your neighborhood wine retailers. There lots of kinds of wine retailers out there and most readers are bound to be turned on to different types. It is important to remember your confidence and go in with the goal of challenging the staff and yourself.

Cast the net wide

At first, you want to identify all the wine stores within a comfortable distance of where you live or work. You should experience them all at least once, but with no rush. By experiencing them all, you are bound to have fallback options if experiences at any one store turn sour. Also, if you pay attention to prices you can better get a sense of value—an advanced skill in wine buyers. Keep in mind that good service and good selection are worth a little more on the bottle. After some time, don’t be afraid to narrow things down, but at first, cast the net wide.

When first walking into the store, it’s important to get the “lay of the land”. While we may be relying on them later, you should put off salespeople and store staff at first. If they won’t leave you alone, then just leave them alone and make some serious considerations before going back. If you want a nice way to keep the staff at bay, just ask them how the store is laid out. Assuming you can get the staff to leave you alone (good retail wine salespeople give browsers a little time before approaching them), walk around the store and get to know how it’s arranged. Look at the prices and the signage. Right now don’t worry if you don’t recognize most or any of the labels. As much as you are learning and taking in the store, you’re letting yourself get relaxed and comfortable in this new—possibly very expensive—environment. All decisions here should be made calmly and with confidence. Consider a wine store a base camp for exploration. If you don’t feel it’s built on solid, sheltered ground, then it isn’t a good base camp.

Identify the staff

This is probably one of the most important things you should be doing when you start out. Staff interaction should color all further considerations. Think about it this way: what is outwardly apparent about wines as they sit on the retail shelf? We can disregard labels to a degree. Though they may be very nice and contribute to the overall experience of the wine, they don’t affect the senses in any meaningful way—yet. Most bottles are tinted to protect the wine from light damage, but some are not and we can ascertain something from the color of the wine. There’s usually a price on the wine somewhere, but that can be horribly misleading and while it may arguably say something about the quality of the wine, it says nothing about its character and whether it suits your palate. Wine publications can be good or bad, but they are generally a pitfall that just ruts people. It’s good to have a solid base of knowledge before you let a static resource like that affect your opinion.

So what are we left with? What are we supposed to rely on when the bottles are only saying so much? People, that’s what. What we’re hoping for is a knowledgeable staff that is willing to listen to our wants and needs and to direct us adeptly and conscientiously. It’s not an easy task to pick these people out, but look at it this way: it may be the most fun form of hard work you’ve ever undertaken.

The first thing you need to do is to not be afraid to talk to the staff after you’ve become comfortable. Pay attention to their mannerisms and see if you think they’re honest helpful people. The major things you are looking for are knowledgeability, honesty, and attentiveness. These are all pretty subjective measures of a person, so you’re going with your gut here. Probably the most important of those is attentiveness. If it’s obvious that they aren’t listening to you and your wants and needs, then it’s obvious that they don’t care if you return satisfied, so oblige them and don’t. Remember that the wine experience is a highly subjective one which may lead to honest misguided suggestions, but stay wary of salespeople trying to make a hard sale outside your realm of desire.

At first, you should be leery of salespeople you don’t know. But your goal is to get to know and trust them as well as possible. Given time they’ll get a fix on your palate and preferences and even may come to know you by name. The more comfortable and trusting the conversation is on the wine floor, the more likely you are to find a great wine. For this reason, those just starting out should prefer smaller mom-and-pop type places where they can get more intimate service. Later on, when your savvy defenses are stronger you can brave the bigger, more aggressive stores, though the better smaller stores retain a lot of positives for almost all levels of knowledge.

Have a plan

The parameters of the plan are up to you. But especially when you’re first starting out you should identify what you want out of each store BEFORE you enter. Maybe while you’re in the parking lot or on your way to the store think about why you’re buying the wine and, most importantly, the budget you are willing to work within. Avoid being too specific if you don’t have to. Remember we’re doing this to explore.

State your plan

Once you’ve gone into the store and you’ve found yourself at a relaxed enough level, approach a salesperson and state your plan in very plain language leaving no doubt. For instance, “I’m looking for a white wine with a nice round character that will go well with Sea Bass for about $15,” is a great request. It sets up your parameters but there’s a lot of room for exploration there. When you are first starting out, ALWAYS state the price or price range you’re willing to work within. Give a little leeway, but if the salesperson tries to recommend something say 15% or more higher, just leave or go talk to a different salesperson.

It may seem strange that you need to be MORE specific when you’re just starting out, but that is because you need to protect your vulnerabilities until the point where you are almost on par with the salespeople and can judge for yourself pretty well no matter what they suggest.

Pick your time carefully

Think about how busy the store is going to be before going and choose a time of day that best fits your needs. Stocking up for a weekend dinner party? Go on the weekends and bring a cart and maybe hit some tastings, but expect the store to be crowded. Hungry for knowledge or a very specific wine? Go during the weekdays when you’re more than likely to get your salesperson’s undivided attention.

Fail enthusiastically

Which is just a fancy way of saying keep an open mind. Don’t get too label-centric. Just because you had a great wine and a great experience somewhere doesn’t mean you have to (or can) repeat that same experience over and over. Exploration means occasional failures. Don’t be afraid to drink bad wine. Don’t be afraid to have a negative opinion. People get so bound up with drinking the “right” wine that they close themselves off to virtually all of the pleasure and the experience that wine has to offer. Don’t be that person.

Pay attention to your progress

When you finally do get that bottle home, don’t just pour it past your tongue and forget about it. Think about what you asked of the salesperson and think about how well they fulfilled that request. Keep a mental note of which person did the best for you and try to return to those people.

Some people find it useful to keep an informal notebook with their thoughts and records of what they drank. Only make it as in depth as pleases you. That said some people love the act of organizing their writings and sifting through their thoughts.

Once you learn to trust your wine people, trust them

Sounds silly, but remember these people are in the store almost daily, drinking and experiencing new things—probably more than you can ever hope to if you aren’t in the wine business. Naturally they’re bound to be a bit enthusiastic about things. Hook into that enthusiasm. Ask, “Hey, what do you have in the $20 range that you guys are really excited about?” Some of their enthusiasm is bound to rub off on you.

Taste—a lot

I can’t say enough about this one. One of the greatest ways to find out what you like as well as to exercise your palate is to engage in as many in-store tastings as you can. Almost every retail wine store offers regular tastings for free or for a nominal fee. Even if you have come to hate the staff or the particular store, go in and use them to taste wine. Even the bad stuff will provide a positive experience for you.

Many regular wine customers do a circuit of all the wine tastings on various days. These customers are usually having a great time tasting, talking, and socializing with friends and those around them. And they are also getting a crash course in several different wines for little to no money. What a great way to learn. You should be doing this, too. Hell, even if you aren’t really that serious about wine, you should be doing this because it’s fun on almost every level.

Banish snobbery

Whether you are coming into a state of maturity with regard to wine knowledge and enthusiasm or whether you are making your first tentative steps down that road, remember that snobbery has no place even among the elite. Learn to avoid those that would condescend whether they ard right or wrong. You are engaging in retail consumership because you want maximum exposure to wine. Don’t let the apparent airs of the snobs hinder your progress towards greater enjoyment